In caring professions – and in deeply relational roles, holding space for others is sacred work. Whether you are a therapist, coach, nurse, social worker, teacher, spiritual leader, or simply the person everyone turns to in crisis, you are entrusted with stories that carry pain, trauma, grief, and vulnerability. But holding space comes at a cost if we do not tend to ourselves. Compassion fatigue is not a failure of resilience. It is often the natural consequence of caring deeply in the presence of trauma. And safeguarding ourselves is not selfish – it is ethical.
What Is Compassion Fatigue?
Compassion fatigue is the emotional and physical exhaustion that can develop when we are repeatedly exposed to others’ suffering. It is sometimes described as the “cost of caring.” Unlike burnout, which develops from chronic workplace stress and systemic pressures, compassion fatigue is closely tied to exposure to trauma – directly or indirectly. Over time, witnessing others’ pain can begin to shift our nervous system, our worldview, and even our sense of safety.
You may notice:
- Emotional numbness or irritability
- Difficulty concentrating
- A reduced sense of empathy
- Sleep disturbances
- Feeling overwhelmed or depleted
- Intrusive thoughts about clients or stories you have heard
For those working with trauma survivors, there is also the risk of vicarious trauma – a cumulative shift in our internal world as we absorb repeated accounts of trauma. This does not mean we are weak. It means we are human.
Trauma Exposure Changes the Nervous System
When we hold space for trauma, our nervous system is activated. Even if the trauma did not happen to us, our body often responds as if it were present. We may feel tightness in the chest, shallow breathing, or a subtle hypervigilance. Without intentional processing, these responses accumulate. Over time, the body may stay in a low-level stress response.
If we are not aware of this, we may:
- Over-identify with others’ pain
- Carry stories home with us
- Lose perspective
- Begin to feel helpless or hopeless
The more attuned we are, the more we are affected. This is why safeguarding ourselves must be woven into our professional practice – not treated as an afterthought.
Safeguard 1: Supervision Is Not Optional
Clinical supervision, reflective practice, or professional consultation is one of the most protective factors against compassion fatigue.
Supervision provides:
- A space to process emotional responses
- Containment for complex trauma material
- Ethical guidance and accountability
- Perspective when we feel stuck
- A reminder that we are not alone
Without supervision, helpers can become isolated in their internal processing. Isolation amplifies stress. Supervision is not a sign that we cannot cope. It is a commitment to sustainability and ethical care.
Safeguard 2: Structured Decompression
We cannot repeatedly hold intense emotional material and then immediately switch into “normal life” without impact. Decompression is the intentional act of transitioning your nervous system from holding space to rest and regulation.
This might include:
- A short walk after sessions
- Breathwork or grounding exercises
- Journaling to externalize what you are carrying
- Washing your hands as a symbolic reset
- Listening to music during the commute home
- Physical movement to release stored tension
Decompression rituals matter because they signal to the body: the work is done for now. Without this signal, the body continues to hold.
Safeguard 3: Trauma-Informed Self-Awareness
When we support others through trauma, our own unresolved experiences can be activated. This is not a flaw – it is part of being relational beings. But awareness is essential.
Ask yourself:
- What stories trigger me most strongly?
- Where do I feel this work in my body?
- Am I rescuing, over-functioning, or overextending?
- What feels harder lately?
Personal therapy, peer support, and reflective practice are powerful forms of safeguarding. We cannot ethically hold others’ trauma if we refuse to tend to our own.
Safeguard 4: Boundaries as Compassion
Boundaries are often misunderstood as distancing. In reality, they are what allow us to remain compassionate.
Healthy boundaries include:
- Clear session limits
- Defined availability
- Emotional differentiation (“This is not mine to carry”)
- Saying no when capacity is exceeded
Boundaries protect empathy from erosion. When we overextend, resentment follows. When resentment builds, compassion shrinks. Boundaries preserve our ability to care.
Safeguard 5: Rest Is Clinical
Rest is not indulgent. It is restorative. Sleep, play, connection, creativity, nature, laughter – these are not luxuries. They are protective factors against trauma exposure.
When we normalise exhaustion as “part of the job,” we risk normalising harm to ourselves. The quality of care we offer is directly linked to the state of our nervous system.
Sustainable Compassion
Holding space is courageous work. It requires presence, empathy, and the willingness to sit in discomfort without turning away. But sustainable compassion requires something equally important: self-protection.
We safeguard ourselves from compassion fatigue through five commitments:
- Supervision
- Decompression rituals
- Trauma-informed self-awareness
- Boundaries
- Rest
When we protect our nervous systems, we protect our ability to continue showing up. Compassion fatigue does not mean you are incapable. It means you care. And caring, when supported, can remain a powerful and sustainable force.
Written by Hannah Wilson
Founder and Director of the Belonging Effect (formerly Diverse Educators).