“No one would care if I weren’t here.”
I can remember the words hitting me hard. As Designated Safeguarding Lead there were immediate red flags, but on a human level it broke my heart.
100% attendance, great progress, and never in trouble. On paper he belonged – but in reality he thought nobody cared.
Across the country, I hear the language of belonging increasingly referenced in discussions about student engagement, wellbeing, and success. And I welcome it. It’s a refreshing shift in our narrative about the student experience.
Still, something didn’t feel right. Then, it clicked.
It is not enough to simply belong; you should also matter.
My experience has shown me that a student can belong to a school community without ever feeling that their presence or contributions truly matter. A friend recently shared a US study with me that revealed a surprising finding: a sense of ‘belonging’ to a school community did not significantly affect academic performance. But instead there were other factors that determined success, such as participation and self regulated learning.
Think about it this way: You belong to a gym, but do the regulars know your name? You belong to a workplace, but do your ideas shape the way things are done? You belong to a school, but when you are absent, is there a noticeable void?
Mattering is more than belonging to a place or a community; it is about your significance.
One of the most prominent academic advocates for mattering is the US community psychologist Isaac Prilleltensky. He argues that developing a strong sense of mattering depends on two things: feeling you are valued, and feeling that you add value – whether that be within your workplace, your community, your family, or your friendship group. In the UK, my good friend Luke Billingham has been one of the most influential thinkers and writers on young people and mattering.
The Three Components of Mattering in Schools
After multiple voice notes back and forth, Luke and I sat down to discuss this matter (see what I did there!), and we asked:
If a student stopped coming to school tomorrow, would they feel like their absence was noticed?
Does every student have positive and affirming relationships with peers and at least one adult?
Are students actively shaping the school environment, or are they simply complying with expectations?
These questions helped us think more deeply about mattering. Of course, students should belong. But would we be satisfied as school leaders with 100% attendance, high attainment, and zero suspensions, yet students still told us, “No one would care if I weren’t here”?
They should feel they matter.
Reflecting on our experiences in different schools, Luke and I identified some key factors which we think enable students to develop mattering; Voice, Relationships, and Participation.
- Voice: Too often, schools claim to prioritise student voice while keeping real decision-making at the leadership level. But voice is not just about being heard. Schools must embed student experience and perspectives into decision-making, not just through surveys, but by creating opportunities for meaningful dialogue and change. Even when student perspectives challenge us, they offer uncomfortable truths we must engage with. When students see their input shape school culture, they matter.
- Relationships: A student might belong to a school, but do they have relationships that affirm their worth? Schools could cultivate opportunities for positive peer relationships to create strong social bonds, and to ensure every student has at least one trusted adult. Relationships built on trust and recognition, and environments where students feel valued and connected.
- Participation: Mattering isn’t just about feeling noticed, it’s about feeling needed. Students need opportunities to contribute meaningfully to their school communities. This goes beyond enrichment clubs; it means ensuring that students are actively shaping their environments. Whether through student-led campaigns, or engaging with the local community, authentic participation allows students to see their impact.
Why Mattering Matters for Inclusion
I worry that belonging is being used as a catch-all solution for inclusion, or dare I say it, a form of soft inclusion. For many students from marginalised backgrounds, belonging can feel conditional. They may be required to turn up, but do they feel like their presence and identity are essential? Do they see themselves reflected in the curriculum? Are their voices shaping school systems? Are their experiences acknowledged and valued?
Mattering addresses these questions by ensuring that students are not just included, but recognised as integral members of their schools. For students from underrepresented backgrounds, the feeling of mattering can be a protective factor against marginalisation and disengagement.
If we stop at belonging, we risk creating schools where students exist but don’t thrive, they comply but are disengaged, are included but unseen. The real challenge for schools isn’t just inclusion. It’s significance. Instead of asking, ‘Do our students belong?’ ask, ‘Do they know they matter?’